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We don't need "and this is what she said about it..." Sorta stating the obvious.
Did you interview your dad? Other family members? I think you need some more sound clips. Especially about the doctor telling your dad that she could have died if they had waited. holy cow!
And even if she didn't remember around the time of the stroke, but what about before (what brought it on, family history, was she always sick, never had medical problems, etc). I think there's some clips missing at the end.
When you said coming home was a rollercoaster, man that's a great line. elaborate. Why? don't skip over that. Why was it so crazy emotional? What were the highs? the lows? how old were you eight years ago. did you realize what was going on? Do you wish you had been older so you could have helped? Talk about being helpless, if in fact you were.
I think your moral is pulling some good out of a tragedy. how it brings you together, etc. Why were you and your mother estranged. I think that could be interesting, if you want to talk about it. I love your line about the family feeling like a family again.
music's going to be real crucial from making it seem to melodramatic but still punctuating some of your emotions.
I do think you need some more interview clips. just a couple more, maybe an older brother or sister (what do they remember) or your dad (having his wife nearly die) or grandfather (as a parent, I can tell you there'd be nothing worse than to see your child sick. Regardless of how old your mom was, she's still your grandfather's baby, ya know).
I think your narration's pretty good. A little dry but not too droll. You're articulate too.(no umm's, ahh's).
I'm mad that the "unexpected answer" clip is all messed up. I want to hear her answer. I think she says "you and your brother" but why so short. is she crying? what does she say before? after. It's weird to have her so cut off. let her talk, let us hear what your mom has to say.